Originally published December 17, 2018
I circle the Costco parking lot like a vulture and score a decent spot. Did the rows of shiny shopping carts reproduce just for the Christmas season? Like a slinky, they now extend around the corner and down the side of that great, beige, stucco block.
Okay, Kit. Get in, get out. Stick to your routine, stick to your list, and you’ll dominate.
But wait. On the way here, I’ve been listening to an audiobook, Shauna Niequist’s Present Over Perfect.
Many of us . . . considered our souls necessary collateral damage to get done the things we felt we simply had to get get done―because of other people’s expectations, because we want to be known as highly capable, because we’re trying to outrun an inner emptiness. . . . We’re on autopilot, chugging through the day on fear and caffeine, checking things off the list, falling into bed without even a real thought or feeling or connection all day long, just a sense of having made it through.
―
If I hope to engage with all the moments of my life, if I don’t want to sleep-walk through December, I may as well practice in Costco. So I wave my coveted membership card to the door attendant. Pass through the golden gates. And then . . .
I go left instead of right. Against the flow. Sticking out my tongue at the snarky voice in my head warning, This is going to cost you time.
But as I round end-aisles stacked high with gargantuan boxes of brownie mix or coconut oil or tuna, I keep landing in the wrong lane, causing a series of near-collisions with shoppers doing things the traditional way. I’m off-balance and clumsy. But kind of giddy, too.
I notice products I haven’t before. And details. Like the carrot-topped curls of a toddler riding in a cart. (I wink at him.) The man pushing said cart, with a matching amber beard. (I don’t wink at him.) A tall old gent with a slight hunch, wearing a bright red tartan cap and a kind smile. I smile back and feel like I just received a hug from the grandpa I never knew.
Whenever we break out of our routine, things can get awkward. New and different is uncomfortable. But it forces us awake.
And where would we be without new and different? What if Jesus had chosen the path of least resistance? What if he hadn’t turned tradition on its head?
An angel informed young Mary everything was about to change. But to fear not.
Nine months later, above all the bustle in Bethlehem, what could be heard?
Suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased! ―Luke 2:13–14
Life brings changes, not always invited. Overnight, the path of least resistance is gated and locked. This year alone, several of my friends have had their normal worlds rocked. Sudden widowhood. Child suicide. Late-stage miscarriage. Cancer, Stage 4.
Others of us are adjusting to emptying nests. And now the radiance of Christmastime shines a spotlight on vacant chairs, abandoned stockings. For one reason or another, they won’t all come home for Christmas. The page turns. The plot twists. We’ve left normal behind. Forever.
But consider, how can we resent change when change is what saved us?
Let’s just pour a cuppa and confess it together: We’re not getting any younger. And some years we lack the energy or the heart to deck the halls. Where’s the shame in that? Is it better to do it just because we always have? Because we fear different?
Fear not.
Maybe we’ve been worshipping our traditions more than our baby Messiah.
Like my eye-opening trip down the aisles backward, perhaps we don’t know what we’ve been missing. And we won’t find out unless we detour. Unless we embrace different.
Maybe we talk too much about the value of creating traditions and too little about the benefits of letting them go.
Slip your foot off the pedal a moment, friends. Shhhh. Listen.
Above all the bustle, you’ll hear . . .
“Glory to God. Peace on Earth.”
When the multitude of angels proclaim the purpose of Jesus’ birth, they proclaim peace. For us, whom God loves!
Peace when our household grows. Peace when it shrinks. Peace in seasons of gain. Peace in years of loss.
Different may feel awkward, but feelings aren’t fatal. So let’s put to rest any traditions that don’t inspire. And wake up to the magnitude and beauty of the day everything changed.
This year I broke tradition in a number of ways.
Skipped the outdoor lights.
Took a pass on the cookie exchange.
Chose simple, retro decor (I convinced all available adult kids to make paper chains and snowflakes . . . and they liked it.)
Lit the tree with blue lights only, and owls—a first, and I love it!—honoring Christmas memories of my favorite aunt and her particular style, now vintage.
And this one was hard: when my neck got tweaked, I asked for help.
3 Questions and a Challenge
Consider
Are your Christmas preparations promoting peace—for you or anyone else?
Are you carrying great expectations into this final week before Christmas, or great flex-pectations?
Why not intentionally embrace different this year?
Do
Again pick up your Christmas to-do list. What could be crossed off or changed up for the sake of peace and human connection? Give yourself permission to let at least one thing go.
Pray
Lord, I praise you with the angels! Glory to God in the highest! Who am I that you came so I could know peace—peace with you, peace when things remain steady, peace when my sands shift, peace with my future? Thank you for blowing tradition out of the water, in the unlikeliest way, so all men could know you. Help me embrace the new and different. I long to engage in each moment of my life, never missing an opportunity to assist in your global mission of peace.
Kit, I really enjoyed your post It’s just my husband and I. We don’t have any family nearby so the holiday season has been lonely and kind of dull. But next year, we’ll be able to celebrate the Christmas season with family and we’re really looking forward to that. Blessing.
I feel ya! Knowing the kids are coming definitely puts more fa-la-la in my Christmas. Even if we leverage the off-years as opportunities to try new things, we’ll deeply miss our loved ones. Big hugs.
Kit, Thank you for the kind reply. I renjoy reading your posts, they’re inspiring and well written. Blessing J. Wallace
Thank you for this wonderful wonderful encouragement. Perspective is everything. As we hold on to our Savior, we can weather the storms of life knowing His love and promises sustain us. I’m so glad I found your site. Blessings and Merry Christmas.
That’s exactly it, Jacquie. We have hope, and it’s all we really need. You’ve been prayed for today, that whatever the Lord is seeing you through right now, you will see HIM! 🙂
Sure am enjoying your Christmas thoughts. Thank you, Kit!
Big Christmas hugs, Sarah! <3
I love everything about this. Thank you Visiting from the tea and word Tues link up. laurensparks.net
Hi Lauren, thanks for reading!
Kit, I loved this! So freeing. For me, this year offered too many challenges, most of which I didn’t welcome. As Thanksgiving arrived early, I found myself thinking, “Oh good, I’ll have more time to set up the decorations.” But I didn’t. As Dec. 10th and then 15th rolled by, I continued my rebellion. Finally I put up minimal decorations, which for me means about five GIANT boxes. And you know what? It was enough! I’m still not “in the spirit” but I’m hoping and praying the Spirit grips me (and fast) so I can relish the love it took for God to come to earth to save me. I need to just get past all the “stuff.” No turkey and fixins’ this year either. We’re streamlining this thing. And like most years when my gut tells me we’re doing this all wrong, the truth will hit in the beginning of January, round about when Old Christmas arrives. At that point, I’ll finally get past all the glitz and be able to sit down with a cup of tea and Jesus and just breath. And believe. And feel the excitement of being alone with my Lord, reflecting on His birth.
Thanks for your authenticity, Heidi. By Thanksgiving, I too start sensing a shadow over my shoulder, like someone’s on my heels following me, pressuring me. I get moments of freedom and clarity–it’s like I’ve ditched the shadow–, but it’s hard won. This is the third year I’ve committed to doing Advent posts, forcing my own deadlines so I’ll follow through. It’s helped so much because I exchange that imaginary pressure for one that is helpful. I can’t write about Advent unless I slow to a halt and come before the Lord. It’s just too awful to finish out the year under that stupid cloud. Praying you find that moment sooner this time. <3
Love you, friend. >3
I love this! I let go of Christmas traditions a few years ago when our nest emptied. I wasn’t going to put up a tree this year, because we’ll have a toddler in the house after Christmas and I have a January 3 wedding to plan for our youngest, and I’m just so busy…but I wrapped some presents, and they needed a tree. So I found an abandoned pre-lit artificial tree (although the word ‘artificial tree’ elevates it high above it’s steel poles and shredded white plastic-wrapped ‘branches’) and set it up in the corner. I set the presents (for some of my students) underneath, plugged it in, and that’s my Christmas decoration for now. Instead of decorations, we’ll map out decorating for the wedding reception. Instead of Christmas cookies, we’ll make and freeze enough lasagna for a reception crowd. But we’ll be doing it together as a family, and we’ll be welcoming a new member into that family–grafting him in and sharing God’s love with him. And that’s what Christmas is about–receiving, grafting, and sharing.
I like the way you think, Anita! We can take it one year at a time, bringing a mixture of old and new. What joy to welcome a new family member! By the way, I’ve been checking out your vegetarian recipes 🙂
Great thoughts, and awesome tips! I’ve scaled back expectations this year too, I was tired of the burnt out, grinchy mom who was coming to dread Christmas and it’s exhaustion. It’s been good! I’ve been able to refocus on Jesus and feel more present and relaxed in this naturally busy season.
Good for you, Katrina! Gosh, it’s hard though, isn’t it? Takes practice to unwind a decades-old mindset. I’ve prayed for you today, Katrina, that you’ll be able to engage deeply in the simple treasure of Jesus’ birth.
Beautifully written, Kit! I am currently reading the same book!! How fancy is that?! Fine minds must think alike. 😉 Great reminders here, to embrace change and learn to let some things go. Looking forward to Christmas this year, with Jesus at the center.
Rachel, thank you! There’s a lot of transparency and wisdom in her book, especially for…eh-hem…recovering perfectionists. Funny how the theme of letting go seems to come up more each year. I’ve prayed for your week, Rachel.:)
This is the first year that I will not have all four of my sons here at home for Christmas day. We’ve already celebrated mob style, and it was glorious and felt just like Christmas is supposed to feel–just not on December 25. With this in mind, I want to bring joy and gratitude into the day on the actual holiday when my two youngest sons experience a Christmas day with just mum and dad and no older brothers. This will be different for all of us, but I want to let God convince me that different can be a good thing.
Michele, I love that you’re focusing on the positive of spending quality Christmastime with two of your sons, and planning ahead to be grateful. On the flip, this will be the first time in four years I’ll have all three kids home, and the first with my 3yo granddaughter. Funny how I suddenly found the energy to set up my Christmas village, which wasn’t in my original plan! Planning to treasure it, but not let it become an expectation.