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How to Give Only Good and Perfect Gifts

by | Dec 11, 2018 | 8 comments

A Vintage Christmas {Advent series, Week 2} Go here to read Week 1.

good and perfect gifts 2

And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.

What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

Remember last week? We chatted about how the only sure thing on our holiday to-do list is Christ’s coming again to hearts that are prepared. And that we do well to prepare for disappointment in other arenas. How did you do with that? Well, I guess I needed another lesson in holiday flex-pectations, because I tweaked my back. And thus, this post will arrive in your email two days late. 🙁

My friend Joel’s mom has a peculiar approach to gift-giving. Every year, as he explained it, she asks her kids and grandkids for a Christmas wish list. And then promptly ignores it.

“Every Christmas, she gives us all the same thing,” he said. “Socks and a book. Every year, socks and a book. Why?”

I laughed . . . at first. Until I remembered my mom wasn’t so different. And I relate more every year. I aim to please but would rather not give trinkets of trendy but fleeting value.

“Maybe she wants to give you something practical . . . and something lasting,” I said.

He shrugged. “Well, all I know is my sock drawer is overflowing!”

Is there a right way to go about gift-giving?

Is it the thought that counts?

I sure hope so, because the Jesus-path Garth and I have traveled, while never boring, hasn’t led to earthly wealth. True, man looks on the size of the package but God sees the heart. Yet I often long to lavish my loved ones with eye-popping, life-changing gifts. But in the name of sanity and simplicity, we adults in our immediate family draw names for a Secret Santa exchange. Thirty-dollar max.

But can I tell you what I want, what I really, really want? To make them feel the richness of my love.

Besides, only God has the power to give a life-altering gift and inspire wide-eyed wonder.

Back to the Christmas Story. Last week we left off with John the Baptist, softening hearts for the coming Messiah. Now let’s jump ahead, past the manger scene, past Jesus’ death, resurrection, and ascension. Let’s listen in on Peter’s testimony to the church leaders at Jerusalem about how God’s huge gift was being received not only by Jews but by non-Jews.

I remembered the word of the Lord, how he said, ‘John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.’ If then God gave the same gift to them as he gave to us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, who was I that I could stand in God’s way?’ When they heard these things they fell silent. And they glorified God, saying, ‘Then to the Gentiles also God has granted repentance that leads to life.’ -Acts 11:16–18 (emphasis mine)

This gift, the only real answer to a weary world’s longing, was for all mankind. The thrill of hope—repentance that leads to eternal life in the Spirit. Hallelujah!

Funny thing about this gift, though. Jesus paid a dear price for it long before you and I and millions of others even knew we wanted it. Bought it with his blood, whether or not we would ever choose to take hold of it.

I can’t say I’ve ever had a gift rejected. Ouch. Yet God continues to tender his costly gift of love regardless of how it will be received.

So maybe we needn’t be so concerned with the quality of our gifts or how they’re taken. But rather, the quality of the love that inspires them.

The purity of our motives

Have we, for example, ever offered gifts out of a desire to . . .

meet an expectation?

reciprocate in equal measure for an extravagant gift?

make the receiver look well on us?

check a box off our do-good list, without much personal thought?

Or how about out of guilt? Perhaps to make up for our shortcomings during the year.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. -James 1:17

I’m so grateful for God’s good and perfect gifts! Meanwhile, we can only aim that ours come from a heart brimming with Christ’s love and make it into the heart or hands of another—undefiled by the middle man.

Whether it’s a something that is precious or a simple pledge of our time. Whether it came from Amazon, our oven, or our attic. Whether it will be cellophaned, spoken, or sewn . . . as Nancy Tillman writes in her children’s book The Spirit of Christmas,

It’s not really Christmas if love isn’t in it.

Looking back, I still treasure certain gifts I never would have known to put on a list:

A collection of American folk stories and poems my aunt gave me when I was a child. (I suspect I inherited her writing gene. She also gave me my first journal when I was a teen.)

A pewter cross necklace from my mom, of even greater sentimental value since she graduated to Heaven.

good and perfect gifts

Two decorative plates with chicken motifs, a recent birthday gift from my youngest. This girl knows me. My motto: “Every kitchen needs a chicken.”

A small, colorful box filled with torn scraps paper. Each bears an adjective meant to describe me, words like thoughtfulloving, and creative. A gift from my oldest when she was on a college budget.

A voucher for Amtrak travel, so I could visit my granddaughter. (Thank you again, old friend. You know who you are.)

And the sweeper-vacuum my son gave me when he was about fourteen. Twelve years later, I still use the thing constantly. But more importantly, I’m constantly reminded of his exuberance in the giving of it.

I suspect these gifts still come to mind because they arrived unimpeded from God’s heart to me, by way of a person.

Whenever we offer gifts from pure hearts, we act as conduit, carrying the frequency of Heaven to Earth. And dollar value is of no consequence. When it comes to God’s currency, love, everyone in the Kingdom has deep pockets!

[bctt tweet=”Whenever we offer gifts from pure hearts, we act as conduit, carrying the frequency of Heaven to Earth. And dollar value is of no consequence!” username=”KitTosello”]

Three questions and a Challenge

Consider:

What are some gifts you’ve received in the past that still warm your heart?

What gift are you most excited to give this Christmas?

What gift are you most apprehensive about giving?

Do:

Review your Christmas giving list. Is there anything you’ve purchased (or made) or plan to purchase (or make) with not-exactly-pure motives? Ask God to change your heart.

Pray:

Lord, I know there isn’t a solid theological reason for gift exchanges as Christmas. But I do want my heart to reflect yours in everything I do. Remind me to hit pause on Christmas chaos long enough to re-attune my mind, spirit, and heart to your love frequency, and to the living hope you came to give all mankind. Forgive my impure motives and show me ways to amplify your love to others.

Missed last week’s post? Read here: The Antidote for Christmas Disappointment.

Don’t miss the rest of the series A Vintage Christmas! Sign up here!

{You’ll also receive my December newsletter with free, helpful resources for the New Year. Tea lover? I’ll be sending out a discount code for Suttle Tea! Be sure to sign up today.}

8 Comments

  1. Aimee

    I love this post! I’m grateful for your framework for evaluating our motives in gift giving. I think this is so important and often overlooked.

    Reply
    • Kit

      So glad it’s helpful, Aimee! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Helena Bergen

    I’m starting to feel a bit of panic setting in because my Christmas giving list is leaving me stumped this year; I think I’m going to take your advice and pray about it!

    Reply
    • Kit

      Hi Helena! I think the bottom line is that, while it’s satisfying and wonderful when we have the means to come up with a gift that is “just right,” we really don’t need to be putting so much undue pressure on ourselves. This year, I’m enjoying more freedom to not overthink it. To keep joy in the process and be okay with simple, unflashy ways to say “I care about you.”

      Reply
  3. Natalie

    I smiled as I read. You warmed my heart and gave me something to think about. Those are good gifts. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Kit

      Aww, so glad it blessed you, Natalie. You’ve been prayed for today!

      Reply
  4. Michele Morin

    Love the conduit image! Yes, this is what I want to be!

    Reply
    • Kit

      Me too, oh me too! Thanks, Michele.

      Reply

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